The Dreaded New Year’s Resolutions

Perhaps my first resolution of the year should be not to procrastinate as much. I should be writing an essay, but no, I’m surfing the interweb in search of something more interesting instead. 

Personally, I stopped writing resolutions years ago, when even at the age of thirteen my top two were to eat more healthily and get more exercise. I don’t have a great relationship with exercise, and don’t even get me started on the manky green stuff. But I like to think my physical activity has gotten better, and over the years I’ve gone through stages of keeping up with running (that has to count for something, right?). But now I do dance, and that’s enough to keep my muscles ability to still walk in tact and keep my conscience at ease too.

But yeah, healthy food? Not even close. 

I try for that target of five a day, and I’ve actually gotten better since going to uni because I can always hear my mother’s voice in my head whenever I go food shopping. I even bought fish one time because I could feel her scolding me as I walked past the isle. I don’t even like fish. So I’m going to attempt to eat less chocolate… but again, stressed uni student here. I don’t think that is going to happen, no matter how many times I get told it causes spots. 

I guess my main resolutions then are more like goals… the first to make it into the second year of uni. The second to see my new book does actually become a hit.

So instead, I’ve decided to create a list of anti-resolutions, because I’m not gunna lie, I’m quite happy with life at the moment.

Anti-resolution list:

1. Have at least one all-you-can-buy-in-Morrison’s binge with the flatmate while watching some brilliant film a month, preferably more.

2. Watch ALL of the Disney films – because you’re never too old.

3. Stay in pyjamas all day because the outside is cold.

4. Drag yourself into the lounge at least twice a day, if not just to get more food – you should get some exercise after all. 

5. Continue to order takeout at three in the morning instead of having a nice glass of water and going to bed after a night out, because the takeout drivers should appreciate the work.

6. Don’t listen to Mum’s warnings until proved right… Or all of your clothes shrink in the wash…


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